Dear nameless boy whom I have come to loath,
Whenever I get to spend time with you, I accidentally start falling for you again. The way you hold me, play with my hair, and the things you say about my body just make me feel so woderful inside, and I can't help but imagine the emotions you must be experiencing that would prompt you to be so lovely and sweet.
Unfortunately, then the inevitable happens. You get bored, and go chasing some ex or just ignoring me in the most outrught of ways, and suddenly I become painfully aware of the truth. I remember for the umpteenth time that you are only looking for an easy lay, and that you tire quickly of playing games if there's no sex to be had in the near future.
The thing is, your ploy is so convincing that I can't help but continue to imagine that it might possibly be true. And then I get to thinking (a concept that seems entirely foreign to you). I remember who I am, and I remember that I take pride in myself and my accomplishments. The problem is, I haven't gotten past this part yet. It's usually around here that I fall apart, and begin to question my own worth. I seek comfort in your warm compliments, and warmer embrace, and the cycle begins again.
You, my dear, are the straw that is breaking the camel's back. I just wish that my heart was as smart as my brain.
Luckily, I'll be gone soon, and these feelings will all become just remnants of nightmarish memories.
Hope you learn a thing or two from some of these girls you play,
Songbird
Dear parental figure whom I have a hard time taking seriously,
I realize that you do not have much respect for me, but I would love to give you a glimpse into the situation that we call our lives from my perspective.
From the time that I was 6 years old, I've known that something was wrong with you and my other parental figure. Since the age of 8, I've been acutely aware of the meaning of sex, and its various purposes and meanings. My knowledge of these things did not come from you, but from simple first-hand observation.
At the age of 11, I began paying for everything I wanted, and paying half the cost of things I needed, including in most cases my hygiene products, clothing and school supplies. From my point of view, it was not necessary that I contribute to this, as our family was not in any state of poverty. However, I will say that this gave me a wonderful sense of independence, and I can now confidently say that I could walk out of the house at nearly a moment's notice and be completely prepared to take on the world. So cudos to you for doing a good job there.
These are the grounds on which I feel that I can whole-heartedly say that I am miserable here. I am ready to break free and live my own life, and it is absolutely killing me to be here trying to get through the last few months of my imprisonment.
Can't wait to break free,
Songbird
Dearest friend whom I once loved,
At one point in time, you were my world, and you made everything in my life make sense. I never wanted to lose you. In fact, as we drift slowly further and further apart, I'm finding myself in territory that is increasingly less familiar. I'm afraid. I don't want to go so far away as to lose you forever, but perhaps that is what is best.
There was a time when you made me feel like I was worthless. I changed for you. I became the person that I thought you would want me to be, and you rejected that little girl. I don't know who I would have been if I hadn't met you, but it would not be this person that I find myself staring at in the mirror every morning. I have made something out of myself this year, rediscovered the person I was before there was "us", but it took a lot of effort, and quite a bit of willpower to create a life that made sense to me.
Now that I am taking steps to move on in life, I am worried about who I want to become in the future. I don't want to end up losing myself again. I want to stay authentic. In the midst of all this change, I want to maintain some sort of costant.
You were my first lover, and my truest friend, and I will never forget everything that we had.
I'm ready to move on,
Songbird
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